adios 2k9! HELLO NEW YEAR! sooo done with this year.
RECAP!
! ALHSDC. <3 my kids, my love, the best team in the worrrldd. totally bonded like crazy this year. i watched comp twice today on youtube and teared at the end every time i watched it. i still get all watery eyed when i watch our comp performance. i love you guys. crazy drama this year, but shit it was all worth it. bring home the bacon next year. i'll be yelling and cheering my ass off from the stands next year. make us proud!
! ECR. BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! we always go through hella shit, but you and i both know we don't need that bullshit to define our friendship. mmm the fact that we're both pretty open minded = SUPERGREATFRIENDSHIP. YAYAYYA.
! CJC. HI TRANSIE. damn like we've been through a lot too. and this year we got sooooo close. you really are like my sister. i'm so glad we got through all that shit soph/junior year. we're way better people now :)
! NEWFRIENDS! well actually people i got closer with. matt tom &richard nguyen. my support system at school. you guys are always there and matt you're there with a bible verse to bring me up. god sent you to pull me outta my slumps! so thankful for you two.
! Adrian. crazy we happened. never thought that in 69.69 million years that you'd be my boyfriend, but here you are now. and i love you immensely. thank you for everything. as convoluted as things may have been in the beginning, i'm glad i have you :)
! ALHSGDT. GIRLLLSS. so glad i'm back. my life was crazy without you guys. 91st was bullshit. takin first in 2010 ladies!
! J.Cole. thank you steven gallardo for introducing me to this amazing rapper. i'ma music junkie so finding new artists are not taken lightly by me! speaks the truth, an amazing storyteller.
! AliciaKeys! the element of freedom. nuff said.
oh helll noooo. i'm like super duper irritated at the moment. we were waiting on you. wth. atleast give us a text, take 2..TWO...TWO minutes of your time to let us know if you're okay or if you're not coming. fuck i hate flaking on people. ESPECIALLY my best friend. they were waiting on noriega for a good 2 hours possibly more. you know we didn't have to put them through all that. actually, YOU didn't have to put them through all that. i was worried shitless about you. i know you were at church and church is important. but if you knew you had plans with people and you knew you were TWO HOURS LATE then i think you should AT LEAST give us the fucking common courtesy to let us know what the fuck is going on. i'm so fucking irritated. yay winter break. fuck. i'm mad.
"I'll never give up, because if I do, I'll never get to find out what would have happened if I stuck it out."
that's what i'm feeling deep inside. but there's something holding me back. i really don't know what to do. i love gdt like when i quit oh shitttt. that was not a good time in my life. but now that show choir and drum corps and my hard classes are out of the way. what do i have to lose? well i have AP gov but its one ap class so it shouldn't be that hard, i'm still on enchantees and idk if i really want to be there or not..actually i know i don't want to be there but i'm scared about the same thing with gdt. like what if i miss out on something. it is my last year in high school and i'm trying to make this ride worthwhile. 5 more months and i'm outta here. if they accept me again, i know if i stay it wouldn't be a decision i would regret. the experience is freaking amazing. but the time. the time is intense. 5 months for 5 minutes. but it's not just 5 minutes. its the bond with the girls and it's the drilling. shit when i see them out there in parades i'm already hella trippin cause i miss it. yeah i do drill at home sometimes cause i miss it. fuck. i really don't know what to do. actually fuck that, i do know what i want to do. i'm just scared to do it. fear.
that's what i'm feeling deep inside. but there's something holding me back. i really don't know what to do. i love gdt like when i quit oh shitttt. that was not a good time in my life. but now that show choir and drum corps and my hard classes are out of the way. what do i have to lose? well i have AP gov but its one ap class so it shouldn't be that hard, i'm still on enchantees and idk if i really want to be there or not..actually i know i don't want to be there but i'm scared about the same thing with gdt. like what if i miss out on something. it is my last year in high school and i'm trying to make this ride worthwhile. 5 more months and i'm outta here. if they accept me again, i know if i stay it wouldn't be a decision i would regret. the experience is freaking amazing. but the time. the time is intense. 5 months for 5 minutes. but it's not just 5 minutes. its the bond with the girls and it's the drilling. shit when i see them out there in parades i'm already hella trippin cause i miss it. yeah i do drill at home sometimes cause i miss it. fuck. i really don't know what to do. actually fuck that, i do know what i want to do. i'm just scared to do it. fear.
oh boy. 4 years and it's all over. i watched every drum corps video i competed in and i have to say i've came a long way. i think it's better if i say we :)
for my kiddos this year, we've worked so hard and honestly i don't mind losing to lowell cause they did a heck of a job too. but balboa? nuhh uhh. to me, comp was between us and lowell, and of course i want first place. but anywho, i'm glad i can watch our video over and over again and not be disappointed because i know we all worked very VERY hard. i love you guys <3 galileo with the shit talkin thooo! they never stop haha, its not even their current dc members, it's the alums. oh gosh. no life can we say? butcheea! man im gonna miss everything. it hella hit me yesterday that i'm never going to compete again and that there's no more hell nights for me to go to. :( i AM excited about returning next year and seeing dc kick butt and take first place. that's for sure. my back is in super duper pain, but yes it was worth it. i'd do anything for you guys. i popped like 6 painkillers within 2 hours. oh man my liver's doomed.
freshman year i remember trying out cause i was impressed by freshman orientation lol kelly on the bells tho. just seeing how the music has progressed in a span of 4 years i mean, wow. it's really amazing. we didn't win 1st this year, but at least i can say i placed all four years. ughh my mom's lecturing me cause it's 2:17 in the morning and i'm not sleeping. well too bad i think of dc 24/7 :) what i'm really gonna miss is making the beats! holyyyyy shieeeet. i'm gonna miss jamming with vicajean and jan and fucking around with beats. oh hot damn. & of course everyone on the teeeam! hella drama this year. i'm glad to say i'm cool with everyone and that everyone is pretty much cool with each other. we're a family and shit gets in the way, but nothing gets in the way of first place. we tried our hardest, and next year they gotta try even harder. work hard dc, make us proud :)
EDIT: BTW i think my poster > than gal's. tee heee. i mean that lion was sick, but the lettering and that cheerleader cloth shiny material was ugly as hell. and HELLO there was a size requirement. CMOOOON. :) 2nd place poster is BOO BOO!
13.
tired. eyes are swollen. nose is running. yuckies.finished formations today. need to work on making the bass beat for the new new beat haha. otherwise, pretty much done, we still need to be sharper and whatnot be we got thisss. throughout everything duuude. first place! i'm just counting down the days til comp. i hope the underclassmen really take it in. i know they all plan on staying next year except for like 1 person kinda? but yeah. their first year will seem like nothing when it comes to senior year. :)
needa remind babe to put air in his tires. hmm hmm hmm. haven't got to sleep in all break. pretty lame. &i haven't finished my csu apps. just need to go over them but i've been procrastinating. aiyaiiiii. didn't get to hang out with elaine or carmen :( and i bought everything regular price on black friday. haha useless. still need to get elaine, carmen, adrian, ponyo, eileen, ashley, and my siblings stuff. holiday shopping is stressful! jeeebus. anyway, off to sleep. needs to catch up on that.
hellos. it's black friday and i'm not going out! well in like 30 mins i am, but nothing's gonna be left. parents didn't let me go with eileen to gilroy. wooo strict filipino parents! yesterday was cool tho, hung out with my baby and performed at turkey day. too bad lincoln got murked 35-0 tho. but anyway, needa get my drum corps secret santa present! i think i do a pretty good job when it comes to presents and i love this person so we shall seeeee. going outsies now. later!
i'm just waiting for all of you to really go off. i got my niggas ready if it really comes down to it.
fuckin shit, hella disrespectful. i swear to god, you're the most insensitive ass bitches i've ever met. you don't give a fuck do you guys? stop being fuckin five year olds. fuckin selfish and shit. there are other people here too. you say you recognize that but you're all full of shit. why don't you guys be good "role models" and execute what you want to be achieved then if we aren't doing it. fuckin bitches. you take on this position and tell me it's easy. you're lucky i didn't punch you in the fuckin face. how dare you say "fuck health problems" ... whatever, would you like it if my back breaks and i become paralyzed from the waist down? would that satisfy your needs? thats what you guys are.. NEEDY. it's all about you. you guys make it all about yourselves. you don't confront us when you have problems, you just keep them bottled in until it gets worse. and you know what else you guys are? fucking babies. grow the fuck up. mature and help other people, don't just BITCH. because when you BITCH at people, you become a BITCH. i'm sick of this shit, i tried being the bigger man and being nice to you guys and doing my part. don't tell me i don't do my part, because i do. fuck that. i can't believe YOU out of all people have the audacity to say something like that. who the fuck are you? heated as fuck. don't fuck with me, i swear i'll make your life a living hell..
i'm going to do this, and this time, i'm not chickening out.
starting out small, gonna make it to the top.
watch me.
friday night was intense. watched the girls' vars volleyball championship game vs. lowell at kezar then went to justin's birthday party at bun's house. it was very intense hahah. saw my girl olivia and my n word justin for the first time in a bajillion years. i miss emmm. after that, went to ben's birthday party then went to jollibee with adrian cause i was hungry hungry hungry.
last night was really fun. minus looking for parking with adrian for like 30-40 mins. not cool! ate at poleng and then after went to fort miley with the group. played catch with adrian while everyone was just sitting in their cars and then eric busted out the portable table from his trunk. hahah too bad we didn't see there was a lock on the legs so eric fell on his beeeehind! adrian, carmen, and eric played deuces and then eric tried to teach me how to jerk...FAIL. i must practice. sike! afterwards we went to quicklys and chopped it up. saw my niggy eric tan! stays cappin on me :( hahah keiah lookin like a dementor! <3
got a freakin 7 out of 9 on my personal statement for mr kim. grrr. i would want an 8 or some some. but its cool, only my rough draft. slippin in ms reis's. must study! and samesies for ms. z. and spanish is on a whole 'nother level of studying. i hate school. blah blah blah. ready to graduate and honestly i don't care much for prom. okay need to make up the 32840274 journals i didn't do for mr. kim's. adios.
happy birthday elaine wong + justin loi. :)
last night was really fun. minus looking for parking with adrian for like 30-40 mins. not cool! ate at poleng and then after went to fort miley with the group. played catch with adrian while everyone was just sitting in their cars and then eric busted out the portable table from his trunk. hahah too bad we didn't see there was a lock on the legs so eric fell on his beeeehind! adrian, carmen, and eric played deuces and then eric tried to teach me how to jerk...FAIL. i must practice. sike! afterwards we went to quicklys and chopped it up. saw my niggy eric tan! stays cappin on me :( hahah keiah lookin like a dementor! <3
got a freakin 7 out of 9 on my personal statement for mr kim. grrr. i would want an 8 or some some. but its cool, only my rough draft. slippin in ms reis's. must study! and samesies for ms. z. and spanish is on a whole 'nother level of studying. i hate school. blah blah blah. ready to graduate and honestly i don't care much for prom. okay need to make up the 32840274 journals i didn't do for mr. kim's. adios.
happy birthday elaine wong + justin loi. :)
just waiting for the day til i graduate. seems so far from now.
my mom's leaving for the philippines tonight, and my dad came back a couple days ago. great i'm stuck with him now :/
so i'm really confused about college. i don't know if i really want to do music or not. this whole julliard thing has got me stressed. maybe i shouldn't apply and just do an average career. but idk there's really nothing else i want to do that passionately. like i'm down to do social science or political science in college too but i don't want it as bad as having a singing career. it's either i give it my all or i don't, and i'm really confused on whether i should or not.
i really miss having legit show choir at school.
i need $$$! i need to get that job after drum corps season ends. mhm. but then i don't know if i want to do something else after drum corps. and i'm not sure if i even want to play basketball in the spring. even though it's the last season i'll ever play in my life, idk if it even makes me happy anymore. i don't have any motivation to play anymore.
my mom's leaving for the philippines tonight, and my dad came back a couple days ago. great i'm stuck with him now :/
so i'm really confused about college. i don't know if i really want to do music or not. this whole julliard thing has got me stressed. maybe i shouldn't apply and just do an average career. but idk there's really nothing else i want to do that passionately. like i'm down to do social science or political science in college too but i don't want it as bad as having a singing career. it's either i give it my all or i don't, and i'm really confused on whether i should or not.
i really miss having legit show choir at school.
i need $$$! i need to get that job after drum corps season ends. mhm. but then i don't know if i want to do something else after drum corps. and i'm not sure if i even want to play basketball in the spring. even though it's the last season i'll ever play in my life, idk if it even makes me happy anymore. i don't have any motivation to play anymore.
a really bad score on my sats. wtf.
mom found a receipt for alcohol. yippee.
1 quiz, 2 tests today. fuck yeah.
getting into the college of my dreams? sike.
not going to my first two classes cause i'm stressing like fuck.
mom found a receipt for alcohol. yippee.
1 quiz, 2 tests today. fuck yeah.
getting into the college of my dreams? sike.
not going to my first two classes cause i'm stressing like fuck.
rude ass niggas out here i swearrrr. shit i'm tired of people thinking they can talk to me however they want as a "joke." whatever.
anyway, i don't want to go to school tomorrow. i only want to go to finish making that beat with vicajean and jan. it's actually pretty good so i'm happy we got something good.
pretty much stayed home the whole day today nothing much. went to church. ate. killer headache and tummy ache at the moment.
i love ysabella malig! she did hella to help clean up on friday. <3 you cousin!
anyway, i don't want to go to school tomorrow. i only want to go to finish making that beat with vicajean and jan. it's actually pretty good so i'm happy we got something good.
pretty much stayed home the whole day today nothing much. went to church. ate. killer headache and tummy ache at the moment.
i love ysabella malig! she did hella to help clean up on friday. <3 you cousin!
if it doesn't matter anymore..why bother?
so pretty much woke up with the worst and first hangover of my life. fuckin shaking and shit last night and still even now. missed my acts. fuckkk. hella stressed about college. wish i didn't overwhelm myself and that i didn't get sucked into the drama my soph/junior year. anyway need to go take care of my best friend. farewell.
so pretty much woke up with the worst and first hangover of my life. fuckin shaking and shit last night and still even now. missed my acts. fuckkk. hella stressed about college. wish i didn't overwhelm myself and that i didn't get sucked into the drama my soph/junior year. anyway need to go take care of my best friend. farewell.
changed my title. done with the lush life, for now.
everythings going to be a bajillion times more stressful than it was last school year. thought it was gonna be easy this year. sike.
i'm done with complications...too bad i can't avoid them.
so i watched harry potter last night. what a disappointment! i really didn't understand what was going on. and i was sleepy half the time.
jetskiing was fun last weekend.
summer's gay at times, but it's alrite. i think last summer > this one. but its chill.
it's my mom's birthday today. i got her a dress from banana. hopefully it looks good on her.
anyway. i'm out, hella tired from last night. came home at 4. needa catch up on my sleeps. later.
jetskiing was fun last weekend.
summer's gay at times, but it's alrite. i think last summer > this one. but its chill.
it's my mom's birthday today. i got her a dress from banana. hopefully it looks good on her.
anyway. i'm out, hella tired from last night. came home at 4. needa catch up on my sleeps. later.
God knows that i'd do anything for a part two..
mmm it's been three months.
shoulda been more patient with you.
i've been straight, but every now and then i think of you.
just sucks.
..you got it down & you're well on your way to the top, but there's something you forgot..
mmm it's been three months.
shoulda been more patient with you.
i've been straight, but every now and then i think of you.
just sucks.
..you got it down & you're well on your way to the top, but there's something you forgot..
I've just accepted what you said
Keepin' me among the dead
The only way to know
Is to walk then learn and grow
But faith is not your speed
Oh, you've had everyone believed
That you're the sole authority
Just follow the majority
Afraid to face reality
The system is a joke
Oh, you'd be smart to save your soul
Oh, when escape is mind control
You spent your life in sacrifice
To a system for the dead
Oh, are you sure
Where is the passion in this living
Are you sure it's God you servin'
Obligated to a system
Getting less then you're deserving
Who made up these schools, I say
Who made up these rules, I say
Animal conditioning
Oh, just to keep us as a slave
i get out - lauryn hill.
Keepin' me among the dead
The only way to know
Is to walk then learn and grow
But faith is not your speed
Oh, you've had everyone believed
That you're the sole authority
Just follow the majority
Afraid to face reality
The system is a joke
Oh, you'd be smart to save your soul
Oh, when escape is mind control
You spent your life in sacrifice
To a system for the dead
Oh, are you sure
Where is the passion in this living
Are you sure it's God you servin'
Obligated to a system
Getting less then you're deserving
Who made up these schools, I say
Who made up these rules, I say
Animal conditioning
Oh, just to keep us as a slave
i get out - lauryn hill.
don't you hate it when you're supposedly cool with someone, and they just ignore you for no reason. and they'll be loud and obnoxious with your other friends. they know that you're there. you try to make conversation and they totally disregard you. i really don't get it. i didn't do anything. and one of my biggest pet peeves are when people beat around the bush like that. you think you so sick? then tell me what the fuck is wrong.
thanks.
thanks.
this is a long ass post.
*varsitygold. i'm pretty excited for next year. getting dance captain was the biggest good surprise of my high school life. i really wanna get first place next year no lie. whether it be a disneyland competition or a tiny ass one in marin. we don't practice our asses off to get 2nd place. it's gonna be hella hard next year because half of the kids are gonna be freshmeat, but i know nathan and i will pull through. he's seriously been the one person i can talk to in show choir (that's my grade) about things. i'm so glad he's the other dance captain. i'm trying to get summer conditioning going but steven doesn't think it's worth it. i asked him 3 weeks ago for his opinion and he said he'd get back to me on it, and i haven't gotten a response. =| i'm gonna call him. if we wanna be serious next year, we gotta start now. and my seniors. UGH you're leaving! er, you already left, and i don't think it's proper to even call you seniors. carmen, elaine, keiah, izzy, crystal, eric, curtis, harrison, andrew. man it's gonna suck not having you guys around and to mess around with haha. oh fuck izzy. if you ever read this, i promise i won't let you down next year. next year i'm really gonna enforce discipline. although i messed around a lot last year, i gotta step it up as a senior cause we're the role models of the noobs and whatever. it's going to be a painful and fun ass year for show choir next year. BESTBELIEVE.
*sfenchantees/gdt/reddragons/alhsball/dance? oh boy. possibilities of quitting enchantees next year. it's like the toughest decision ever. ive been with those girls since 2002. yeah it's been hella long since i've been playing with you ladies. but is all the drama worth it? my mom's suffered enough and i really want to be on this team til senior year but everything's going crazy. show choir got really serious this year which means more performances and whatnot. ugh. and school was a bitch, chemistry oh my god. i don't think anyone knows what i go through in that class unless you've had ms landa. ms landa is like crazy ukranian woman. if you get 2 wrong on a test, you've got an F. it's hella hard. so i had to balance gdt/enchantees/showchoir/school. my advice is don't try it.
i just don't know anymore with enchantees, i really wanna stay cause i <3 my girls, but i mean i heard they're talking mess, so does that mean you guys don't want me anymore? say it to my face dude. ashley says me quitting is what coach wants so why should i let him win? it's kinda true but idk dude. i can't believe people were telling me to quit when it was really my fault with the decisions i made this year and you know next year i won't do the same stupid shit i did.
what i did find this year was a new family. my gdt girls. i hella hated it at first shit, i wanted to quit so bad. but something kept pulling me back, i knew how hard it was to change formations if a person left. i hated going to practices. honestly i still do hahaha cus it takes so much time! but i mean it's hella worth it in the end. you've got 20 sisters and an experience that will stay with you for a lifetime. and the day we had the enchantees team meeting it was also the day of hell night. i knew that after the meeting i could run to my gdt girls for support. seriously i showed up to cynthia's house that night in tears and i just sat oh hyzell and dee's sleeping bags just crying my eyes out and rambling about everything. what really got me was that all the girls were there around me and they were there for me. hahaha kristina tho! "WHO'S YOUR COACH WANT ME TO BEAT HIS ASS?!" lmao. i love you. i didn't think hell night would change my perspective on gdt but it really did. these girls are the friendliest people ever. i wasn't really that close to any of them in the beginning cause honestly, one person influenced me to do it, and she was never there. and it just made me hella pissed off how she didn't dedicate herself and i backed her up on everything.
but anyway, the rest of the girls wow like hella changed my life. and dude fcking vicajean, she's got some crazy ass ideas next year and it's making it so much harder for me to decide whether i wanna stay on the team or not.
can i afford to spend most of my time on this team? i mean one ro team is already intense enough. people that do two teams and don't have anything else to do are straight, but i mean those who have other things on their plate, it's soooo hard dude to balance everything.
what really sucked this year for gdt tho was that i never had time to perfect my placements and sharpness so i looked hella sloppy.
red dragons. idk me and eileen are thinking about joining. it's hard to imagine myself on another team except for enchantees. but if i want to play, this is an option. IDK. so many people are thinking about quitting, it's just UGHHH. i wish that everything was like how it was beginning of the season when everything was chill.
lincoln mustangs. do i want to wear a jersey that says that? hm. IF i make it. at first i really wanted to make varsity, but now it's an idk again. cause my gdt girls. and plus the lincoln bball girls are hella two faced from prior experiences on JV. it was just too much drama yet again. plus i lost my love of the game sophomore year and then i found it again this year, and now it's in an unknown position. but the lincoln girls were a part of this problem, trust.
and then this one thing i've been wanting to do since freshman year, dance. i've always wanted to take classes but i've never had the time, so say i dropped all of these things cept show choir and drum corps, i would have time to do this. idk man. ugh.
*drumcorps.what a trip. i'm staying on the team, but things aren't set in stone for me. everything's changed since awards night. i can't see it the same. i feel like the last 3 years have been a waste. all my dedication, all my hard work. this and show choir have been the two things i've been consistent with and it's just a slap in the face when something like that happens to you, especially if it's given to someone younger than you. it woulda made more sense if it was given to someone of my rank, but i guess not. it wouldve made more sense to me if it was that way. my passion for the team has definitely dropped. it's just not the same, and it won't be next year. i feel like i'm being selfish, but at the same time, this team has been the biggest part of my life. not even show choir dude, like it's the reason i stayed at lincoln and didn't transfer to wash. and the year i was looking forward to the most.. it's all gone. that's why it has this kind of effect on me. only time will tell what's going to happen with dc.
if you read all of that, you're a baller.
*varsitygold. i'm pretty excited for next year. getting dance captain was the biggest good surprise of my high school life. i really wanna get first place next year no lie. whether it be a disneyland competition or a tiny ass one in marin. we don't practice our asses off to get 2nd place. it's gonna be hella hard next year because half of the kids are gonna be freshmeat, but i know nathan and i will pull through. he's seriously been the one person i can talk to in show choir (that's my grade) about things. i'm so glad he's the other dance captain. i'm trying to get summer conditioning going but steven doesn't think it's worth it. i asked him 3 weeks ago for his opinion and he said he'd get back to me on it, and i haven't gotten a response. =| i'm gonna call him. if we wanna be serious next year, we gotta start now. and my seniors. UGH you're leaving! er, you already left, and i don't think it's proper to even call you seniors. carmen, elaine, keiah, izzy, crystal, eric, curtis, harrison, andrew. man it's gonna suck not having you guys around and to mess around with haha. oh fuck izzy. if you ever read this, i promise i won't let you down next year. next year i'm really gonna enforce discipline. although i messed around a lot last year, i gotta step it up as a senior cause we're the role models of the noobs and whatever. it's going to be a painful and fun ass year for show choir next year. BESTBELIEVE.
*sfenchantees/gdt/reddragons/alhsball/dance? oh boy. possibilities of quitting enchantees next year. it's like the toughest decision ever. ive been with those girls since 2002. yeah it's been hella long since i've been playing with you ladies. but is all the drama worth it? my mom's suffered enough and i really want to be on this team til senior year but everything's going crazy. show choir got really serious this year which means more performances and whatnot. ugh. and school was a bitch, chemistry oh my god. i don't think anyone knows what i go through in that class unless you've had ms landa. ms landa is like crazy ukranian woman. if you get 2 wrong on a test, you've got an F. it's hella hard. so i had to balance gdt/enchantees/showchoir/school. my advice is don't try it.
i just don't know anymore with enchantees, i really wanna stay cause i <3 my girls, but i mean i heard they're talking mess, so does that mean you guys don't want me anymore? say it to my face dude. ashley says me quitting is what coach wants so why should i let him win? it's kinda true but idk dude. i can't believe people were telling me to quit when it was really my fault with the decisions i made this year and you know next year i won't do the same stupid shit i did.
what i did find this year was a new family. my gdt girls. i hella hated it at first shit, i wanted to quit so bad. but something kept pulling me back, i knew how hard it was to change formations if a person left. i hated going to practices. honestly i still do hahaha cus it takes so much time! but i mean it's hella worth it in the end. you've got 20 sisters and an experience that will stay with you for a lifetime. and the day we had the enchantees team meeting it was also the day of hell night. i knew that after the meeting i could run to my gdt girls for support. seriously i showed up to cynthia's house that night in tears and i just sat oh hyzell and dee's sleeping bags just crying my eyes out and rambling about everything. what really got me was that all the girls were there around me and they were there for me. hahaha kristina tho! "WHO'S YOUR COACH WANT ME TO BEAT HIS ASS?!" lmao. i love you. i didn't think hell night would change my perspective on gdt but it really did. these girls are the friendliest people ever. i wasn't really that close to any of them in the beginning cause honestly, one person influenced me to do it, and she was never there. and it just made me hella pissed off how she didn't dedicate herself and i backed her up on everything.
but anyway, the rest of the girls wow like hella changed my life. and dude fcking vicajean, she's got some crazy ass ideas next year and it's making it so much harder for me to decide whether i wanna stay on the team or not.
can i afford to spend most of my time on this team? i mean one ro team is already intense enough. people that do two teams and don't have anything else to do are straight, but i mean those who have other things on their plate, it's soooo hard dude to balance everything.
what really sucked this year for gdt tho was that i never had time to perfect my placements and sharpness so i looked hella sloppy.
red dragons. idk me and eileen are thinking about joining. it's hard to imagine myself on another team except for enchantees. but if i want to play, this is an option. IDK. so many people are thinking about quitting, it's just UGHHH. i wish that everything was like how it was beginning of the season when everything was chill.
lincoln mustangs. do i want to wear a jersey that says that? hm. IF i make it. at first i really wanted to make varsity, but now it's an idk again. cause my gdt girls. and plus the lincoln bball girls are hella two faced from prior experiences on JV. it was just too much drama yet again. plus i lost my love of the game sophomore year and then i found it again this year, and now it's in an unknown position. but the lincoln girls were a part of this problem, trust.
and then this one thing i've been wanting to do since freshman year, dance. i've always wanted to take classes but i've never had the time, so say i dropped all of these things cept show choir and drum corps, i would have time to do this. idk man. ugh.
*drumcorps.what a trip. i'm staying on the team, but things aren't set in stone for me. everything's changed since awards night. i can't see it the same. i feel like the last 3 years have been a waste. all my dedication, all my hard work. this and show choir have been the two things i've been consistent with and it's just a slap in the face when something like that happens to you, especially if it's given to someone younger than you. it woulda made more sense if it was given to someone of my rank, but i guess not. it wouldve made more sense to me if it was that way. my passion for the team has definitely dropped. it's just not the same, and it won't be next year. i feel like i'm being selfish, but at the same time, this team has been the biggest part of my life. not even show choir dude, like it's the reason i stayed at lincoln and didn't transfer to wash. and the year i was looking forward to the most.. it's all gone. that's why it has this kind of effect on me. only time will tell what's going to happen with dc.
if you read all of that, you're a baller.
JDSKLJSAL.
so pretty much today +tomorrow will be a disaster.
let's start off with my drill is SHIT and i'm really not proud of it and i'm not done with it yet and it's supposed to be done by tomorrow. AGHHHH!
i was making elaine's sign for her dance show thing tonight and i put newspaper underneath the posterboard and spraypaint STILL got on the sidewalk. wtfeeezy. and not to mention my sign looks like shit too! jdflasdjl i'm sorry laine! i had a really old can of white and a stubborn ass flourescent orange! well anyway, while i was making this thing, the fucking wind decides to be a bitch and close my front door on me. hilarious right? well i was like -_____________- fuck this shit! so i went back to work on my sign and i spray painted my sidewalk on accident a second time. hooray. i was about to flip a bitch dude. so i was knocking on both my front doors for a good five minutes only to realize that my dad was probably on the phone yelling at someone and that my brother was playing drums downstairs so no one could possibly hear me.
YAY.
so i asked a random woman on the street if i could use her cellphone and she said her friend has one. wth who doesn't carry a phone these days? ha! well anyway, i dialed my house, my dad, and my sister's phone only to realize that this woman's phone was a 650 number. so now my eye's are like super twitching at this particular moment and in my head i'm thinkin WOMAN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME! AND YOU'RE STEPPING ALL OVER MY FRONT YARD. i mean yeah she's doing me a favor, but that's kinda rude! she was hoppin all over our flagstones and checking herself out in the relflection from our car. like jesus woman. mm yeah needed to vent about that semi-petty little thing.
anyway, i'm off to get my eyebrows done then go to elaine's thing.
too bad the lady won't get a tip today cause i'm broke! =|
so pretty much today +tomorrow will be a disaster.
let's start off with my drill is SHIT and i'm really not proud of it and i'm not done with it yet and it's supposed to be done by tomorrow. AGHHHH!
i was making elaine's sign for her dance show thing tonight and i put newspaper underneath the posterboard and spraypaint STILL got on the sidewalk. wtfeeezy. and not to mention my sign looks like shit too! jdflasdjl i'm sorry laine! i had a really old can of white and a stubborn ass flourescent orange! well anyway, while i was making this thing, the fucking wind decides to be a bitch and close my front door on me. hilarious right? well i was like -_____________- fuck this shit! so i went back to work on my sign and i spray painted my sidewalk on accident a second time. hooray. i was about to flip a bitch dude. so i was knocking on both my front doors for a good five minutes only to realize that my dad was probably on the phone yelling at someone and that my brother was playing drums downstairs so no one could possibly hear me.
YAY.
so i asked a random woman on the street if i could use her cellphone and she said her friend has one. wth who doesn't carry a phone these days? ha! well anyway, i dialed my house, my dad, and my sister's phone only to realize that this woman's phone was a 650 number. so now my eye's are like super twitching at this particular moment and in my head i'm thinkin WOMAN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME! AND YOU'RE STEPPING ALL OVER MY FRONT YARD. i mean yeah she's doing me a favor, but that's kinda rude! she was hoppin all over our flagstones and checking herself out in the relflection from our car. like jesus woman. mm yeah needed to vent about that semi-petty little thing.
anyway, i'm off to get my eyebrows done then go to elaine's thing.
too bad the lady won't get a tip today cause i'm broke! =|
that Late Night with Jimmy Fallon is the best thing that ever happened to late night television. it's like snl every night. & the roots as his house band. lovin this shit!
i've been doing nothing but eat and sleep these past couple of days.
and my dad found my report card =( i thought my mail comes around 2 or 3 o'clock. apparently not! shoooot. i thought i was gonna be slick today.
making this drill for vica is killinnnn me. i'm thinking about going with don't stop believin by journey? idk but i have to make it up by saturday morning HELP! haha
i have a killer headache, and it's been around for a couple of hours. =/
DUDE banksy @ the bristol museum. i wanna go soooo bad. regina and i proposed the idea of london to my mom and she was thinking about it. let's hope she lets. it looks helllaaa sick bbrruhhh. pretty much my favorite artist
and my dad found my report card =( i thought my mail comes around 2 or 3 o'clock. apparently not! shoooot. i thought i was gonna be slick today.
making this drill for vica is killinnnn me. i'm thinking about going with don't stop believin by journey? idk but i have to make it up by saturday morning HELP! haha
i have a killer headache, and it's been around for a couple of hours. =/
DUDE banksy @ the bristol museum. i wanna go soooo bad. regina and i proposed the idea of london to my mom and she was thinking about it. let's hope she lets. it looks helllaaa sick bbrruhhh. pretty much my favorite artist
my brother is a horrible driver and he's almost 19.so me and the siblings went to jingletown in oakland today. it's a community filled with artists and they had an open art studio thing today. i only like a few of the artists, most of them were EHH. but yeah one really cool thing was this hearse from the 60's that this guy "refurbished" i guess you could say. it was hella tight. there were like swords and metal shit all over it. it was pretty much my favorite part of the day. and the casket on top was pretty neat. i wish i brought my camera.
anywhoooo. after that i went to fenton's with the family. YEESSSUHHH. banana jr! the picture quality actually came out nice for my janky, masking taped sk3. look at that thing. it was humongous. the pineapple syrup was CRACKIN. i pretty much beasted that minus the chocolate (cause i loathe chocolate ice cream, cept rocky road and other stuff) and a little bit of strawberry. not to mention i had me some chicken nuggets and french fries. HOLLA. fatty status right
there.ever since my brother came back from davis, it's just been bickering and bickering. he talks to me like i'm completely stupid and he has the worst comebacks ever. it usually goes along the lines of "what's your gpa again?" or "how many F's do you have?" or today's was REALLY super pathetic: "what color's that on your eyes raisa?" okay wow commenting on my eyeliner ramon? okay.. -____- retard. i'm so happy he's leaving tomorrow. no mas! but seriously he almost rear-ended a car on the bridge. i winced and freaked out.
chelsea's birthday is on wednesday. i need to get that girl a gift. mmmm summertime dude. hella chill. OHH last night i went to katie &ricardo's party. poppin dude! had a shot, then accientally spilled my 7up on huyen cause a whole train of asians came through the kitchen. ay nako. i only stopped by with leen after her ccu game at elco. ughh i hella miss playing. i really don't understand that "there's not enough space in ccu" kinda thing..cause ajlfajsfka whatever. atleast i'm playing city league. so yeah. anywayy i wish i stayed at ricardo's but leen had a curfew so i went home pretty early.
i'm hooked on restaurant city on facebook. it's all steven's fault for getting me on that thing. anywayyy! tryna finish all my apps today. got my work permit application yesterday with the pops.
supposed to go out with vyvy today er scrapbook with her? IDK. but i'm just going with the flow today.
supposed to go out with vyvy today er scrapbook with her? IDK. but i'm just going with the flow today.
hello back again. i'm probably gonna blog everyday now that school's offa my hands.
so i just came back from downtown with elaine. got 11 job applications. i think i have to be over 18 for some of them. the ones i really want to work for are puma, planet funk (i think you have to be 18?), vans, steve madden, and lids. hahah lids. oh jeez. i'm breaking out like a bitch! oh dear. haha random but i felt a blemish coming on. anyway, hopefully regina can get me a job at like the hundreds? idk i'll do anything, i just need that dolla dolla!
so earlier this morning. my two closest friends were pissing the shit out of me. like ughhh. so i talked to E about it and she was saying how it's rude for me to lag when they're outside to pick me up. like ugh you showed up right outside my house when i didn't even ask you to. you said A called me, but i was in the shower so how could i have known -_____- &you expect me to be ready? we're getting job applications dude. but we ended up not getting them and going to O's work. like okay? i didn't even eat, well because i was pissed. but anyway. i know i run on filipino time and i'm late, but i'm talking about today and not about the previous times. yes i'm sorry about them, don't get me wrong, of course i feel bad. but today's incident doesnt mean you have to be putting "hella rude" and "we are often put in difficult situations &its up to us to make the best of it" in your away messages cause you know i'll look at it. wtf what grade are we in? and then A says to E: "your away message inspires me!" like wow that's immature. thanks. we're supposed to be close friends, and just cause i'm irritating you doesnt mean you can treat me like a bitch you've hated since 2nd grade. c'mon now.
i'm glad i can turn to my '09 friends though. like forreal, there's no drama. don't get me wrong, i love my close ones in my grade, but these guys know wsup. keep me grounded. ilovethem<3 but i think it's cus i've been kicking it with E and A like pretty much every day, so we're bound to get sick of each other. its cool, i'm not trippin.
UGH WAY TO BAIL ON ME TODAY BRUH. =/ thought we were gonna have a good time today? guess not. whatever. this pretty much shows me you can't even commit to a couple hours at the beach...when we even set it up beforehand. it's my fault for taking you for granted, but we both stopped talking to each other at the same time. but idk what's your deal. honestly you were hella boring. shit seriously like just texting? the phone convos would be like 4 times total. idk i shouldn't expect so much outta boys. i don't know why i do! haha maybe cus i'm used to having them call. i guess. whatever. i'm so whatever about guys now. they just give me bullshit excuses. i try to make things work, they just don't reciprocate. moving on..
so i just came back from downtown with elaine. got 11 job applications. i think i have to be over 18 for some of them. the ones i really want to work for are puma, planet funk (i think you have to be 18?), vans, steve madden, and lids. hahah lids. oh jeez. i'm breaking out like a bitch! oh dear. haha random but i felt a blemish coming on. anyway, hopefully regina can get me a job at like the hundreds? idk i'll do anything, i just need that dolla dolla!
so earlier this morning. my two closest friends were pissing the shit out of me. like ughhh. so i talked to E about it and she was saying how it's rude for me to lag when they're outside to pick me up. like ugh you showed up right outside my house when i didn't even ask you to. you said A called me, but i was in the shower so how could i have known -_____- &you expect me to be ready? we're getting job applications dude. but we ended up not getting them and going to O's work. like okay? i didn't even eat, well because i was pissed. but anyway. i know i run on filipino time and i'm late, but i'm talking about today and not about the previous times. yes i'm sorry about them, don't get me wrong, of course i feel bad. but today's incident doesnt mean you have to be putting "hella rude" and "we are often put in difficult situations &its up to us to make the best of it" in your away messages cause you know i'll look at it. wtf what grade are we in? and then A says to E: "your away message inspires me!" like wow that's immature. thanks. we're supposed to be close friends, and just cause i'm irritating you doesnt mean you can treat me like a bitch you've hated since 2nd grade. c'mon now.
i'm glad i can turn to my '09 friends though. like forreal, there's no drama. don't get me wrong, i love my close ones in my grade, but these guys know wsup. keep me grounded. ilovethem<3 but i think it's cus i've been kicking it with E and A like pretty much every day, so we're bound to get sick of each other. its cool, i'm not trippin.
UGH WAY TO BAIL ON ME TODAY BRUH. =/ thought we were gonna have a good time today? guess not. whatever. this pretty much shows me you can't even commit to a couple hours at the beach...when we even set it up beforehand. it's my fault for taking you for granted, but we both stopped talking to each other at the same time. but idk what's your deal. honestly you were hella boring. shit seriously like just texting? the phone convos would be like 4 times total. idk i shouldn't expect so much outta boys. i don't know why i do! haha maybe cus i'm used to having them call. i guess. whatever. i'm so whatever about guys now. they just give me bullshit excuses. i try to make things work, they just don't reciprocate. moving on..
HI NEEDA UPDATE.
sooo after having a wonderful convo with my girl elaine, i decided i wanted to put some input on this whole boy situation.
recently, i've been having a new approach which is: no expectation, no disappointments. &after reading a previous wthellz?! entry, i realized us ladies do HELLA shit for guys. like we plan cutesy things, we dress up, we go the extra mile. don't get me wrong, the boys do it too, but most of the time, it's US. haha sorry. but yeah, the whole "chase" can be fun but you kinda know what you're getting into.
ladies, if you think he's leading you on, he probably is. it's a given fact. even oprah said so haha! so you KNOW it's LEGIT (:
anyway, i hate bullshit. to the max. like how about this scenario:
"hey we should def kick it in the summer!"
"yeah we should but idk i have practice in the summer and i got work"
alright that's straight up bullshit right there. seriously though, i mean if you really want to, you'd make time. and we're all busy so don't give that excuse. but yeah i know what it's like to be busy. TRUST. but if you got a job and practice, homie, there's a thing called SUNDAYS. ANDDD it's summer. so sorry that doesn't work. yikes.
and today this boy tells me "i'll let you know about tm cus my cousin wants me to go with her" hm. well we kinda planned to hang out tm ahead of time, sooo why can't you just tell your cousin you're gonna kick it with me? &this is a FIRST date ladies and beans. so its not like i see him all the time. at first i was irritated, but whatever, life goes on.
in conclusion, boys are boys and most of the time need to be flushed down the toilet. but we needa stop thinking about what theyre thinking cause half the time, they aren't even thinking. ...about us! well yeah, we all know that us ladies talk more and are more involved in our emotions than guys. dudes just chill, eat, sleep, play sports, watch tv and/or play video games, and fuck. and that can piss a girl off immensely while she's on her rag ha! but as long as we don't give a fuck, nothing can hurt us. THE END.
**EDIT. ^^so that sounds pretty sexist, feminist whatever. but if i said it nicer, you wouldn't get my point ;D
sooo after having a wonderful convo with my girl elaine, i decided i wanted to put some input on this whole boy situation.
recently, i've been having a new approach which is: no expectation, no disappointments. &after reading a previous wthellz?! entry, i realized us ladies do HELLA shit for guys. like we plan cutesy things, we dress up, we go the extra mile. don't get me wrong, the boys do it too, but most of the time, it's US. haha sorry. but yeah, the whole "chase" can be fun but you kinda know what you're getting into.
ladies, if you think he's leading you on, he probably is. it's a given fact. even oprah said so haha! so you KNOW it's LEGIT (:
anyway, i hate bullshit. to the max. like how about this scenario:
"hey we should def kick it in the summer!"
"yeah we should but idk i have practice in the summer and i got work"
alright that's straight up bullshit right there. seriously though, i mean if you really want to, you'd make time. and we're all busy so don't give that excuse. but yeah i know what it's like to be busy. TRUST. but if you got a job and practice, homie, there's a thing called SUNDAYS. ANDDD it's summer. so sorry that doesn't work. yikes.
and today this boy tells me "i'll let you know about tm cus my cousin wants me to go with her" hm. well we kinda planned to hang out tm ahead of time, sooo why can't you just tell your cousin you're gonna kick it with me? &this is a FIRST date ladies and beans. so its not like i see him all the time. at first i was irritated, but whatever, life goes on.
in conclusion, boys are boys and most of the time need to be flushed down the toilet. but we needa stop thinking about what theyre thinking cause half the time, they aren't even thinking. ...about us! well yeah, we all know that us ladies talk more and are more involved in our emotions than guys. dudes just chill, eat, sleep, play sports, watch tv and/or play video games, and fuck. and that can piss a girl off immensely while she's on her rag ha! but as long as we don't give a fuck, nothing can hurt us. THE END.
**EDIT. ^^so that sounds pretty sexist, feminist whatever. but if i said it nicer, you wouldn't get my point ;D
mom. Fuck it dude, stop being fucking fake to me if you don't like me. That's rude and you're only playing yourself.
r, I might as well quit. I mean our team manager wants me to anyway and I bet you my coach does too, on and all the parents minus chelseas dad and miyas
bam, I don't get any pt anymore like ANY. Hmmm maybe its cus kimmie played with us and we have more people. But dude if this is how its gonna be next yea
ffect my playing. And everytime I make one mistake, you take me out. Its like I thought I was getting better and moving in the right direction, and then
for the game again you come and crush that shit. I feel so bad like I felt like I brought the team down because I was letting everything get to me and a
Soooo hopefully this goes through. But yeah FOR is like gay. I wanna get out of LA so bad. Seriously fuck basketball in the ass. Just when I find my love
currently: ready or not - the fugees
disneyland was crackin! cept the boys were being hella annoying and typical dicks at times. but overall a good trip. i miss it already! freakin 6th out of 9! but we did our best and we performed pretty well so woo! i got really irritated the day of comp cause i told the girls to come at like 730ish to get their make up done or choose a time slot between 730 and 10 and they all came at like 945... -______-
eric &bella's faces are priceless..
disneyland was crackin! cept the boys were being hella annoying and typical dicks at times. but overall a good trip. i miss it already! freakin 6th out of 9! but we did our best and we performed pretty well so woo! i got really irritated the day of comp cause i told the girls to come at like 730ish to get their make up done or choose a time slot between 730 and 10 and they all came at like 945... -______-
eric &bella's faces are priceless..
k i need to vent hella bad.
today's vent is about annoying, typical assholes/jerks/pigs/fuckfaces.
you made me remember how much shit you're filled with. everytime i'm around you it's like woww how fucking stupid was i? it's whatever now cus it's the past but still. i'm not buying into this fucking game anymore. dunzooo.
okay, that was a curt vent.
anywhooos.
PROM! so i'm going with jordan! woo, it should be fun. i have no idea how we're getting there though, and i need a dress! dude it's sooo hot, i feel like i'm gonna melt in this chair. LA IN TWO DAYS! (=
today's vent is about annoying, typical assholes/jerks/pigs/fuckfaces.
you made me remember how much shit you're filled with. everytime i'm around you it's like woww how fucking stupid was i? it's whatever now cus it's the past but still. i'm not buying into this fucking game anymore. dunzooo.
okay, that was a curt vent.
anywhooos.
PROM! so i'm going with jordan! woo, it should be fun. i have no idea how we're getting there though, and i need a dress! dude it's sooo hot, i feel like i'm gonna melt in this chair. LA IN TWO DAYS! (=
currently: bad man! - murs
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE!! last game of the flyers tournament today! vs. the warlords. apparently they got hella raw? whatevs. idk if i wanna play today? my chest still feels hella tight. disneyland wednesday! yeee! then la again the next weekend. LESSS GOOOOO. but dude i woke up hella sore. and i still am! some major stretching at the gym laterrs. i found my mike hawk bracelet! it was under my pillow. but i think i lost my fingaz one at the gym. shoots.
i so could not find a prom dress yesterday! LAME. so i wanna ask this one dude but i'm pretty sure it's gonna be a no =/ so i think i might ask this other guy, but if i ask him, there's gonna be SUPER and i mean SUPER drama at school. -___- people need to get OVER it.
soo last night me and eileen, chels, and melissa went to bryan's birthday bonfire. at first it was awkward turtle but it was all good as the night went on. haha jordan and bryan's enchantees dance was CLASSIC. wooo they made signs for us yesterday!
dude i'm so tired! cherry blossom festival today? but i have to come home early and do homework, LAME.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE!! last game of the flyers tournament today! vs. the warlords. apparently they got hella raw? whatevs. idk if i wanna play today? my chest still feels hella tight. disneyland wednesday! yeee! then la again the next weekend. LESSS GOOOOO. but dude i woke up hella sore. and i still am! some major stretching at the gym laterrs. i found my mike hawk bracelet! it was under my pillow. but i think i lost my fingaz one at the gym. shoots.
i so could not find a prom dress yesterday! LAME. so i wanna ask this one dude but i'm pretty sure it's gonna be a no =/ so i think i might ask this other guy, but if i ask him, there's gonna be SUPER and i mean SUPER drama at school. -___- people need to get OVER it.
soo last night me and eileen, chels, and melissa went to bryan's birthday bonfire. at first it was awkward turtle but it was all good as the night went on. haha jordan and bryan's enchantees dance was CLASSIC. wooo they made signs for us yesterday!
dude i'm so tired! cherry blossom festival today? but i have to come home early and do homework, LAME.
wow. can i just graduate already? reeeallly wanna get out of here.
+ i got a paper cut while trying to open my repulsive SAT scores.. =(
just gotta finish sultan's and i'm outsies. goodnight.
+ i got a paper cut while trying to open my repulsive SAT scores.. =(
just gotta finish sultan's and i'm outsies. goodnight.
currently: moneyright - musiq soulchild
happy easter! yessss i've been successful going without pho and frozen yogurt for 40 days. bosssssy! but yeah i'ma head over to church soon. but wooo! today i'm going to splurge on frozen yogurt. and have a bomb asss lunch.
game 3 today! i'm so happy dude, we sent the ninjas to friendship in their own tournament. haha but we're cool with them kinda? so i feel kinda bad, but hayyy! had a pretty good game vs. ninjas yesterday. today we're playing the na ali'is..so i hope we do well.
still haven't talked to her, i don't know what to say honestly. she apologized, but i feel like thing's are gonne be the same? idk.
happy easter! yessss i've been successful going without pho and frozen yogurt for 40 days. bosssssy! but yeah i'ma head over to church soon. but wooo! today i'm going to splurge on frozen yogurt. and have a bomb asss lunch.
game 3 today! i'm so happy dude, we sent the ninjas to friendship in their own tournament. haha but we're cool with them kinda? so i feel kinda bad, but hayyy! had a pretty good game vs. ninjas yesterday. today we're playing the na ali'is..so i hope we do well.
still haven't talked to her, i don't know what to say honestly. she apologized, but i feel like thing's are gonne be the same? idk.
currently: better today - ne-yo
spring break's been.. um, interesting.
my birthday party: crackinnnn at first, then someone exploded. which ruined it. honestly, it was a selfish thing for you to do. i'm not tryna act like a spoiled bitch but on my birthday party you really don't have to act like that. the way you handled it surprised the fuck out of me. cussing in MY house, in front of MY family. calling me phony? &then cussing out your whole entire crew. we didn't do anythingto you..you can blame it on the alcohol but you said you didn't regret anything. so don't play that shit. i thought we were sisters. one by one the numbers started to dwindle, and who were left? my real friends, who would do anything, and i thank you guys. my seniors. fsho. ..and today you im me saying sorry. you i know i love you, i would never do anything to hurt you or cause any disrespect. and what do you do? disrespect me to the highest extent it could possibly be taken. honestly, i don't know what to say to you. i really don't. i'm over it, it's the past. but idk forgiving you right now at this very second? i'm not sure if that's possible right now. i will eventually, but it's too fresh. i've been living life and i'm fine. i've had the craziest past 2 days of my life. all i wanted was for people to be happy and be stress free. a total 360? yeah. oh well.
was yesterday night any better? nah. same shit. stressin, stressin, stressin. and wth i ask you to be there for me, you say you'll be there for me..but you bring me right down. i acted like everything was fine on the phone, but honestly i wanted to slap the shit out of you. i'm sick of arguing with you all the freakin time because you hurt me. but i've decided to suck it up and swallow every piece of shit you throw at me. idk why, because i think i should keep you around as a friend..? because we have good times, and some of those times are ones that no one else can share with me. but everyone's asking me when enough is enough..and i really don't know when that is with you. you're just a really blunt person, but i know the difference between blunt and straight up fucked up. you really pissed me off, and when i keep it real with you, you think i'm delusional? thanks. ohh and everything i tell you, you end up sharing it with the world. we have a wonderful friendship. i think we should have a different kind of relationship cus i just get all the side effects while you have a grand ol' fucking time.
and you.. i'm sick of you imitating me 24/7. can you be your own damn self? please? because it's coming down freakin away messages on aim wth! i know they say imitation is the highest form of flattery but it's annoying. haha but real talk tho, you've done some real disrespectful shit to me too. i tell you about it, and you don't even take it seriously. so much for bffs? at the variety show you really pissed me off too..but whatever. i guess i'm gonna do things solo from now on.i will talk to you about it, when i'm ready, but right now, there's too much shit on my plate. and i'm trying to digest one thing at a time.
spring break's been.. um, interesting.
my birthday party: crackinnnn at first, then someone exploded. which ruined it. honestly, it was a selfish thing for you to do. i'm not tryna act like a spoiled bitch but on my birthday party you really don't have to act like that. the way you handled it surprised the fuck out of me. cussing in MY house, in front of MY family. calling me phony? &then cussing out your whole entire crew. we didn't do anythingto you..you can blame it on the alcohol but you said you didn't regret anything. so don't play that shit. i thought we were sisters. one by one the numbers started to dwindle, and who were left? my real friends, who would do anything, and i thank you guys. my seniors. fsho. ..and today you im me saying sorry. you i know i love you, i would never do anything to hurt you or cause any disrespect. and what do you do? disrespect me to the highest extent it could possibly be taken. honestly, i don't know what to say to you. i really don't. i'm over it, it's the past. but idk forgiving you right now at this very second? i'm not sure if that's possible right now. i will eventually, but it's too fresh. i've been living life and i'm fine. i've had the craziest past 2 days of my life. all i wanted was for people to be happy and be stress free. a total 360? yeah. oh well.
was yesterday night any better? nah. same shit. stressin, stressin, stressin. and wth i ask you to be there for me, you say you'll be there for me..but you bring me right down. i acted like everything was fine on the phone, but honestly i wanted to slap the shit out of you. i'm sick of arguing with you all the freakin time because you hurt me. but i've decided to suck it up and swallow every piece of shit you throw at me. idk why, because i think i should keep you around as a friend..? because we have good times, and some of those times are ones that no one else can share with me. but everyone's asking me when enough is enough..and i really don't know when that is with you. you're just a really blunt person, but i know the difference between blunt and straight up fucked up. you really pissed me off, and when i keep it real with you, you think i'm delusional? thanks. ohh and everything i tell you, you end up sharing it with the world. we have a wonderful friendship. i think we should have a different kind of relationship cus i just get all the side effects while you have a grand ol' fucking time.
and you.. i'm sick of you imitating me 24/7. can you be your own damn self? please? because it's coming down freakin away messages on aim wth! i know they say imitation is the highest form of flattery but it's annoying. haha but real talk tho, you've done some real disrespectful shit to me too. i tell you about it, and you don't even take it seriously. so much for bffs? at the variety show you really pissed me off too..but whatever. i guess i'm gonna do things solo from now on.i will talk to you about it, when i'm ready, but right now, there's too much shit on my plate. and i'm trying to digest one thing at a time.
HOW CRACKIN WAS THIS WEEKEEENDDD.
dude probably the best way to kick off the tournament season. the 1st two games were ehhh. coach gives us too much at the same time it's really hard to digest it all, but anyway, dinner was chill. it was mos def not worth 13 bucks tho. gypped! pre-social was like the best part dude. hahah melissa tho! pictures soon, once chels, katie, lauren, and melissa upload i shall share. duuude hella funny. i'm really glad most of us bonded pretty well. even though we've been together since 4th grade, i feel like this is the closest we've ever been. (= the social was hilarious! ohh man melissa and chelsea! overall good shit. social after party? UH YEAH. haha so some of the dragons boys came up to the room and we chilled. after they left, we all stayed up til like 2:45. game 3 was like amazing. sean surprised chels at the game, it was so cute! i was totally in on it too muahah. i got that sasf all star player award thing? idk but that longsleeve is pretty sick! cept it's like flourescent orange haha but i like. but yeah no school tomorrow. YESSUHH. but i still gots gdt =/
easter is coming up! YES. a pho and frozen yogurt feast is waiting for me(=
dude probably the best way to kick off the tournament season. the 1st two games were ehhh. coach gives us too much at the same time it's really hard to digest it all, but anyway, dinner was chill. it was mos def not worth 13 bucks tho. gypped! pre-social was like the best part dude. hahah melissa tho! pictures soon, once chels, katie, lauren, and melissa upload i shall share. duuude hella funny. i'm really glad most of us bonded pretty well. even though we've been together since 4th grade, i feel like this is the closest we've ever been. (= the social was hilarious! ohh man melissa and chelsea! overall good shit. social after party? UH YEAH. haha so some of the dragons boys came up to the room and we chilled. after they left, we all stayed up til like 2:45. game 3 was like amazing. sean surprised chels at the game, it was so cute! i was totally in on it too muahah. i got that sasf all star player award thing? idk but that longsleeve is pretty sick! cept it's like flourescent orange haha but i like. but yeah no school tomorrow. YESSUHH. but i still gots gdt =/
easter is coming up! YES. a pho and frozen yogurt feast is waiting for me(=
currently: lovesick - gang starr
just got out from bsa. HELLA BEAT DUDE. 3 shows in one day. deeyum hella drama like in every team cept enchantees/drum corps. ughh. i needa break dude. tomorrow's friday, yes! then sac on saturday. hell yeah. it's about to be poppin! i need a break from everything. fareals. so no more medley for the variety show, it's too late to put it all together. =/ soo i'm doing a solo thing with steven, hopefully that'll work.
just got out from bsa. HELLA BEAT DUDE. 3 shows in one day. deeyum hella drama like in every team cept enchantees/drum corps. ughh. i needa break dude. tomorrow's friday, yes! then sac on saturday. hell yeah. it's about to be poppin! i need a break from everything. fareals. so no more medley for the variety show, it's too late to put it all together. =/ soo i'm doing a solo thing with steven, hopefully that'll work.
currently: just kickin it - xscape
i'm really worried about the variety show medley. eeh we don't even have a finalized list of everything we're gonna sing. i have a list, but i doubt the other two will like it? IDK.
so my brother showed me this site yesterday..
www.slanties.com
this is a TAD derogatory haha. well it's supposed to be "inuit eyewear." but this shit's hilarious. kk.
i'm really worried about the variety show medley. eeh we don't even have a finalized list of everything we're gonna sing. i have a list, but i doubt the other two will like it? IDK.
so my brother showed me this site yesterday..
www.slanties.com
this is a TAD derogatory haha. well it's supposed to be "inuit eyewear." but this shit's hilarious. kk.
so i decided to listen to three cheers for sweet revenge today because i was being emo. it's been years since i've listened to the whole thing. i remember like middle school when i was a hardcore mcr fan. well anyway, the whole record is amazing.
so today i went home early from my sats because of a stupid stomach ache. i was so pissed. it really hurt that bad though where i couldn't even concentrate. what a waste of fifty dollars. oh wells. my mom got all mad at me when i called her to pick me up too, like shit it's not my fault. she's stupid, i can't wait to get out of this house. 1 year and 4 more months. i'm so sick of everything here. she thinks she's doing a good job by lecturing me and shit but honestly she's decreasing my motivation to do well in school. fuck it.
idk anymore. i really hate school. what's the point in trying anymore? i'm trying to hold on.
it seems like everyone's turning on me, subtly. it's high school so i suppose i'm willing to get over it.
currently: i hate this part - the pussycat dolls
my grandma has pneumonia. great. i wish i could see her right now, she's in the hospital in the philippines. haha she wanted corned beef it was so cute. ugh i'm just really anxious right now.
i went shopping all around the city today. i'm pooped. i came across a really cute blue leather jacket on haight, it was adorable, too bad i didn't have sixty on me. gah!
so i'm really worried about this money i sent out on valentine's day. it was for some glow in the dark dunks and it's been awhile and the girl on fsf hasn't replied saying she got the money. oh dear, i shouldn't done a TRACKED money order..i'm retarded. there goes 80 down the drain! well we'll see, the usps could just be very slow? i'm gonna give it another week or two, and if not, paypal? =(
my grandma has pneumonia. great. i wish i could see her right now, she's in the hospital in the philippines. haha she wanted corned beef it was so cute. ugh i'm just really anxious right now.
i went shopping all around the city today. i'm pooped. i came across a really cute blue leather jacket on haight, it was adorable, too bad i didn't have sixty on me. gah!
so i'm really worried about this money i sent out on valentine's day. it was for some glow in the dark dunks and it's been awhile and the girl on fsf hasn't replied saying she got the money. oh dear, i shouldn't done a TRACKED money order..i'm retarded. there goes 80 down the drain! well we'll see, the usps could just be very slow? i'm gonna give it another week or two, and if not, paypal? =(
currently: mad - ne-yo
got an 80 on my spanish interview. YES!
priorities. lately, i've been doing good with those so let's hope i can keep it up yeah?
that one thing on my mind though, it's been bothering me these past couple days. ugh. everything reminds me of it. this april/may is about to be the busiest two months of my life. but yeah school's about to be over in like 3 months. insane how fast the year went. next year's the last, crazy.
got an 80 on my spanish interview. YES!
priorities. lately, i've been doing good with those so let's hope i can keep it up yeah?
that one thing on my mind though, it's been bothering me these past couple days. ugh. everything reminds me of it. this april/may is about to be the busiest two months of my life. but yeah school's about to be over in like 3 months. insane how fast the year went. next year's the last, crazy.
i decided to use this blog again and i'm starting over.
stress stress stress!
but on a lighter note..
OH MY GOD. JSLDAJSSKJ ATMOSPHERE'S COMING TO SF! i'm so excited! a day after my birthday too! i've been waiting so long for them to come to the bay, it's like the best birthday present in the world [to myself(= ] if i go! man i don't even think i can put into words how i feel about this concert like it really means that much to me. i can hella relate to slug's lyrics and i can't wait for april!
sometimes you gotta give in to win, i love the days when it shines. whoa let it shine<3
stress stress stress!
but on a lighter note..
OH MY GOD. JSLDAJSSKJ ATMOSPHERE'S COMING TO SF! i'm so excited! a day after my birthday too! i've been waiting so long for them to come to the bay, it's like the best birthday present in the world [to myself(= ] if i go! man i don't even think i can put into words how i feel about this concert like it really means that much to me. i can hella relate to slug's lyrics and i can't wait for april!
sometimes you gotta give in to win, i love the days when it shines. whoa let it shine<3
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